Stories From My Inbox…

So what do we have in store this festive period?

Women’s Health

20 Sexy Gifts That Are Here To Make Your Holidays Way Hotter

This Will Make You think Twice About Shaving Your Pubic Hair

7 Weird Reasons Why You’re Feeling Totally Blah About Sex

9 Ways to Make Doggy Style Sex More Pleasurable And Less Painful

Men’s Health

Why Men Need to Start Taking Back Control of Their Wellness

The Rock on Depression: ‘You’ve Got to Talk About It, and You’re Not Alone

Why Penile Implants Are the New Boob Job

21 of the Best Sex Toys to Use with a Partner

Why You Should Ejaculate At Least 21 Times This Month, According to Science

10 Masturbation Tips and Techniques That’ll Blow Your Damn Mind

Stories From My Inbox…

So what do we have in store this week?

In honour of Mental Health Awareness Day I want to put some focus on Mental Health this week as it is so important. As someone who suffers on and off from low mood, depression and low self esteem I cannot stress enough that there is help out there for people if and when you need it.

It takes a lot of guts to ask for help and you have to be ready for it when you do but learning how to cope with your feelings and developing ways to recognise triggers and deal with them is invaluable to helping you through the episodes.

There is no shame in suffering from depression or any form of mental illness, more people than you can imagine suffer from it but many don’t feel comfortable to talk about it.

I was given a course in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy online by my GP which helped me to learn about the things that bring on my episodes of low mood and depression and how I can recognise them and work to move through them.

I took the online course as the waiting list for face to face therapy meant I would have to wait longer for help and I wanted to feel better and not wait. I was assigned a Therapist who monitored my coursework and arranged times to call and speak to me so I wasn’t alone and had someone to guide me. It was run by the Healthy Minds service in my area, ask your GP how you can access the service in your area.

Don’t suffer in silence, be strong and ask for help, don’t hide from the people you love, let them help you when you need it.

Women’s Health

19 Crazy Sex Positions That Have Been Missing From Your Life

5 Reasons To Add Anal To Your Sex Menu

Is Anal Sex Safe?

The 12 Best Lubes For Anal Sex

Men’s Health

ARE YOU GUILTY OF THESE COMMON MENTAL HEALTH MISCONCEPTIONS?

8 SIGNS SOMEONE IS SUFFERING FROM ANXIETY

THIS TEENAGER’S STORY REMINDS US THAT MENTAL ILLNESS DOESN’T DISCRIMINATE

6 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

If you do want some help or advice about mental health then have a look at the links below where you may find some advice that can help you.

Where’s Your Head At?

Rethink Mental Illness

Mental Health Foundation

How to access mental health services in the UK

Mind

 

 

 

Time to Talk Day 2018

We all know someone who has been affected by mental health issues on some level, its way more common than you think. Some people seek help by talking to friends and family or sometimes to professionals in the field. Other people seek a medicinal approach to their situation.

There is no right or wrong way to feel and no right or wrong way to live your life. If you wake up one morning and find you can’t get out of bed it’s ok, you’re not broken you just need some time to rest and find your path again.

Life can get pretty challenging at times. Not everyone is equipped to deal with life’s challenges in a positive way all of the time. Sometimes people give all of themselves to others and neglect themselves and end up running on empty.

Someone I know declared 2018 to be the year of ‘self love’ her idea was to spend a year focussing on nothing but looking after herself and filling her life with positivity and that makes a lot of sense to me. Add one small piece of happiness and positivity to every day and with each small step you move towards a happier life.

There are no short cuts. Not everyone’s road is straight to success. I’m not going to lie, life can be cruel, you can get hit from all sides and still need to get up in the morning and carry on. This might last for days, weeks or years but it will eventually get better slowly day by day. Negative feelings and periods of your life will never be permanent there will always be light that comes back to you in time and when you’re ready to see it.

You have the power to control your own destiny if you change your narrative. Don’t like your job, look for a new one. Want to change a career, look for a course to learn any new skills you need and move towards it, there are a lot of free online resources you can use to learn new skills if you do the research. Feel tired all the time, get a check up with your GP and allow yourself a cut off point at night to go to bed and sleep. Unhappy in your relationship then speak up and make changes. If there is violence involved and you’re scared ask for help, there are people out there who can help, you may need to look for them but they will be there.

I suffer with depression. I suffer with the pressure that life puts on me. I suffer with the pressure of my own expectations of what my life would be by this age compared to the reality. I feel stuck in a life I didn’t choose but that chose me by circumstance.

Sometimes there are days when it all gets too much. I try my best at everything I do but nothing is ever enough, I’m always a let down. People leave me so I’m alone all the time because there is something wrong with me. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night missing people and going over my mistakes to validate my feelings of inferiority until I develop insomnia which makes me feel like a zombie all day. No one is crueller to me than I am to myself in the minutes and hours where there is no noise or distraction to keep me from the negative thoughts.

But sometimes I don’t let it win. Sometimes I remember that my Cognitive Behaviour Therapy says I’m only allowed to think those thoughts for a count of 10 and then I have to change the channel. Sometimes I remember that the people I love and want to spend time with have their own lives and whilst they enjoy my company I’m not high on their lists of priorities. It doesn’t mean they aren’t my friends and don’t miss me too, it just means they’re busy and maybe meant to reply to my message or call but forgot. Sometimes the thing I spent all night obsessing over to the point of no sleep was all in my head to begin with.

I have a friend who I connected with in a way I never have with anyone else. To the point where I could feel what they were feeling. I would get a wave of sensation out of the blue and their face would pop into my head and I’d smile. Every quiet moment I think about them and wonder what they’re up to and how they are.

We used to talk almost daily and sometimes all through the day and night. We’d make each other laugh and tell each other things about our lives and be there for each other. But the last 2 years have seen us drift apart to the point where we are strangers. I know this happens, it’s happened to many of my friendships over the years. Only this one is different because we said we would always be there for each other no matter what and I believed it.

I’ve never cried myself to sleep missing a friend before but this friendship I find myself crying over a lot. They’re still the first person I want to share my news with and tell stories to but only now I write a note but don’t send it. Every now and again I send a message and I don’t get a reply, I don’t even know if it’s read anymore now the dreaded blue ticks have been turned off.

The thing I mull over is what has been said between us and the actions that contradict it every day. I don’t understand how we ended up here and why I lost my friend who said they would always be there for me no matter what. I made the mistake of falling in love with them early on and I’m aware we talked about some mutual feelings in the past that I don’t think went away but we’ve never been completely on the same page. But that shouldn’t mean our friendship has to suffer.

I really struggle with it. This person who used to say they were proud of me, built me up to be stronger than I’ve ever been, made me a better person, inspired me to reach for better things for my life and showed me care and affection I’ve never experienced before now treats me like a ghost. I don’t exist 90% of the time but the other 10% when I do exist is just like it’s always been. Two people who connect and are comfortable with each other having a laugh and being friends.

Not having them in my life for the last 2 years has made me more lonely than I’ve been in my whole life and I’ve never been someone with a lot of friends. I miss their presence in my life every single day. There is not a single day in our almost 6 years of friendship that I have not thought about them.

I’ve tried everything I can think of to move on and leave them behind but the thought of it has only ever made me feel worse. I made them a promise that I would always be here for them no matter what life threw at us and that our friendship would always pick up from where we left off no matter how much time had elapsed between meetings. That promise meant something to me and I stand by it, no matter how much I get hurt along the way. Those minutes that we spend being friends make up for all the time apart, it might not be healthy but the Hope gets me through the day.

I can’t change how someone treats me but I can change the other parts of my life I’m unhappy with. So I’ve been doing just that. Making lists and sticking to them and focussing on what I want to achieve and making small changes. I still miss them everyday but now I’m focussing on other things too and it’s getting a little easier everyday.

So there you have it, on Time to Talk day I’ve said my piece, now check out Time to Talk and see if you can make a difference today.

Time to Change… Let’s End Mental Health Discrimination

I don’t normally use this platform to share anything serious but for this cause I will make an exception.

Tomorrow is Time To Talk Day and I wanted to talk about it as I think it is a really good idea.

Depression is something that reaches most of us one way or another, in our lives and for some of us it is something we face on a regular basis. It isn’t always easy to seek help and advice, especially when you can’t really explain how you are feeling or why.

Everyone needs a different kind of support when they are feeling down, not everyone wants to talk about their situation. Personally I found that talking to people who have experienced depression first hand helped. They understood that I don’t always know why I feel it and how quickly I can change.

I have been living with depression for the last couple of years on and off. I undertook a course of cognitive behavioural therapy to help me the first time and it really did help.

Having two very close friends that I could turn to for support was what really helped when I couldn’t talk to my family about what I was going through.

So if you know anyone who might need some support or if you feel like you need a little help then take some time to read Time to Change: Let’s End Mental Health Discrimination

There are people out there who can help you, there is nothing wrong with seeking out help and advice and believe me you are not the only one who feels that way… once you start talking about depression you’ll be surprised by how many people you know who have their own story to share.