I was catching up on Flipboard the other morning when I came across this article from Marie Claire:
Now I don’t pretend to know anything about rape. I don’t personally have any experience of it and thankfully neither do I know anyone who has.
But there does seem to be a problem with people obtaining consent for sex nowadays and I think that is really sad.
I also hate the way that the victim of rape (male or female) is made to feel like they are in the wrong and they shouldn’t report it. It is a crime and like any other crime it should be reported and it should be taken seriously.
There is I feel another side to the story in some cases where people have a change of heart and claim rape, especially when famous people are involved to obtain money and fame from selling the story.
I’m not suggesting anything in particular but it has happened and this too is disgusting and doesn’t help the true victims of rape. I’m sure from time to time it’s used as a vengeance tool to get back at people and that too is disgusting.
Personally I don’t think the media should pay people for stories about celebrities, especially in these sorts of circumstances as it just glorifies it to some people.
I’ve never really understood why a victim of rape would want the story plastered all over the internet and newspapers/ magazines in local shops and bring a lot of criticism on themselves for the sake of money. There are better ways to make money! The victims are never made to look good by the press in those circumstances.
I would imagine rape to be a deeply traumatic experience and it would be better to bring a court action and obtain justice for the crime than to get a quick buck from the tabloids, surely?
If someone is a sexual threat then they should be stopped before they can hurt anyone else and it takes a really brave and strong person to stand up against them. We should be praising their strength and not making them feel guilty about something that was out of their control.
But like I said I have no experience and can only guess what it is like.
The point of this blog is about consent contracts which seem to be completely pointless and insulting. Two grown adults who are mature enough to be engaging in consenting sex shouldn’t need a ‘Consent Contract Kit’ to facilitate this.
How about you use common sense instead. If someone is passed out they can’t consent. If someone has sex with you and then your friends want to join in discuss it first, if anyone says no it doesn’t happen.
If you have to force someone, hold them down, threaten them or tie them up, unless you are engaging in consensual roughness then they probably aren’t consenting to sex.
Even if you do normally engage in rough sex including being tied up and forced, some people have rape fantasies, you still need to obtain consent before you do it. Just because someone consented once doesn’t give you automatic rights to assume consent every time.
In an intelligent society there should be no need for rape and consent contracts. The internet and apps have made finding a partner for sex easier than it ever has been so if you do find someone saying no then use your apps. Maybe there is someone in your area that is up for exactly what you are and they may well be surprisingly close to you.
Rape is never ok, forcing someone against their will is never ok and a consent contract is not a get out of jail free card.
Be the kind of person who has enjoyable sex and someone people want to say yes to and not the kind of person who sees a no as a yes anyway.
So lets put it to the poll…