Do you have to be experienced at sex to write realistic erotic fiction?

I’m curious to see whether people think being sexually experienced will impact on your ability to write erotic fiction that is realistic to readers.

Could someone who is a virgin write a sex scene so realistic that it would make you think they were writing about a personal experience?

Could someone who had never experienced BDSM write a story that encapsulates the ideals in a way that would make you believe they had?

8 thoughts on “Do you have to be experienced at sex to write realistic erotic fiction?

  1. After I voted, I realized that I was the only one so far 🙂 But I hope you get many more people voting. This is an interesting question, and I answered no, that you don’t have to be experienced in sex to write erotica. I voted this way, as I think an imagination could fill in for experience. Having the experience surely helps — but imagination could take you into writing believable fiction. I’ve come to that position after reading books from various perspectives. Male authors have written from a woman’s perspective. Authors have written science fiction and fantasy without living in those places or times. Imagination is powerful stuff that can make scenarios realistic.

  2. I certainly believe that those who are inexperienced sexually can wrote perfectly fine erotica (some can even write it very well) but in general I think actual experience helps if you want to realistically portray the experience and the feelings

    • That’s true, the internet allows anyone to be able to write and publish whether hey are good at it or not so as a reader the choice becomes harder to know who to trust with your money in some respects.

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