Do you consider sexting cheating?…

With the invention of so many personal contact apps it has never been more easy to find someone for a quick fuck or a bit of sexting fun.

It’s a relatively new problem in the relationship world, previously you had to worry about your partner physically finding someone to cheat with but now they can just click a button on their phone and find someone where ever they are.

Work lives are often stressful nowadays, no one ever seems to plan far enough ahead so you are always chasing that deadline and the work doesn’t stop coming.

Add into that a lot of people now travel for work, its late, your other half is asleep back home, you’re in need of some loving and you could have a wealth of willing partners at the touch of a button.

So what do you do?

You could just find some porn on the internet but sometimes you need that human interaction, to know that someone is there with you.

So you turn to the app and before you know it your phone is filled with dick or boob pics and wanking videos.

But is it cheating?

I met a guy a few years ago and I knew from the start that he didn’t want to commit to me and that he saw other girls but I was so into him it didn’t matter. Any of his time was better to me than none at all.

It didn’t stop me being jealous of the other girls though. It didn’t stop me imagining him doing the things we did with the others and making me lose my mind over it all.

Why did he go to them when he could have just come to me? Why wasn’t I good enough for him, why did he need the others?

And the real kicker, what if they’re better than me and that’s why he chooses them over me. That is a really unhealthy one.

When it comes to sexual performance we all have our tricks and skills, it doesn’t necessarily make us good or bad – we are all different.

We are all a product of the experiences we have had, if all your sexual experiences are good or great you’ll be good or great.

If all your sexual experiences ended in 3 seconds flat then you really don’t have much experience to learn from, you aren’t necessarily bad you just need to put some effort into learning new skills.

If you have a partner who wants to experiment with you and learn all the things you enjoy and teach you all the things they enjoy then you really do have the best of both worlds.

I guess what I’m clumsily trying to say is, it depends on your relationship and your partner.

Me personally, I would rather he woke me up when he needed someone than go to someone else. If it’s just porn, fair enough everyone watches porn at some point but if he needed that human contact and he didn’t come to me for it then that would be a problem for me.

To me that means there are bigger problems lurking in our relationship and I would be worried that he is losing interest. But then I’m a overthinker, or a woman as we are also known.

On that subject, we hate it just as much as you do, trust me. Overthinking is exhausting, it messes with your mind and it makes you feel like a fool. We don’t do it on purpose it’s just the way we’re wired up.

What a lot of women struggle to understand is the ability men have to literally not think of anything. I’ve always envied that, when you say “hey what are you thinking?” and they say “oh nothing.”

Sometimes that means literally nothing, blank mind, no nagging little voices reminding you of every conversation you had over the whole of your relationship, the time 10 years ago he made a comment that sounded like your arse was fat, no OMG I look horrible from this angle I hope he’s not looking, no did I turn the oven/ iron etc. off or remember to empty the washing machine, was that report at work due today or yesterday, did I remember to book the meeting room, I think I’m getting horny again, is he falling asleep, should I wake him up, that carpet needs hoovering, is that a cobweb hanging off the light fitting, should we paint the room, I think we should change the sheets tomorrow, damn I forgot the milk…..

So you see what I mean about it being exhausting inside a women’s mind.

I would much rather be lying their blank minded, sexually satisfied and fall asleep than have all that running through my head.

Or indeed being sent off to sleep by a smiley face, kiss and a ‘Sleep well babe’ text message after some naughty fun when I’m away from home.

2 thoughts on “Do you consider sexting cheating?…

  1. I think you said it perfectly when you said “it depends.” I think the most important thing is communication in the relationship and the proper setting of boundaries. One woman may be perfectly fine with her man flirting and sexting up other chicks… as long as he gets all of his physical thrills from her. Another may have a no tolerance policy with flirting outside the relationship. Then you have the swinger/poly subset where the boundaries are much more…. “relaxed” is a good way to put it, I guess.

    The most important thing is to create these boundaries BEFORE problems happen. That way, everyone is on the same page and there is no accidental harm involved (and also no excuse for those who decide to play outside the rules).

    – CM

    • Exactly! I know people who engage in the BDSM communities and I found it quite an eye opener as to what people are comfortable with in relationships.

      The lifestyle has degrees I think we can all relate to on some level but not everyone is cut out for all of its dynamics.

      It has taught me to be more communicative with future partners. I like to feel confident enough with a partner to experiment within my boundaries and every now and again having those stretched a little can be fun too!

      I agree there is nothing worse than people lying and hurting feelings because they choose not to respect their relationships. I see so many people throwing away good relationships for the lure of having cheap sex with multiple partners it makes me sad that people lose what it feels like to be in a loving relationship.

      Also the lasting damage it does to some people when things go badly makes it really hard for people to move forward with their lives and trusting new partners becomes a constant struggle.

      Sometimes its unavoidable when you leave a relationship that isn’t working but a lot of people seem to be unconcerned with who they hurt in the pursuit of their own happiness and I think that’s a shame.

      Love and relationships are nothing if not complicated, they should be worth the effort though! 🙂

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