Confidence is Sexy Right?

Last night my friend said to me ‘Charlie, I’ve had an idea what do you think?’ Her idea was quite frankly brilliant and knowing her just the sort of thing she will enjoy doing. My friend is a lot like me in some ways, we both like to help people. We take the people we like into our confidence and care for them.

A part of caring is wanting the best for others and helping them achieve that in any way we can. It might be the odd ‘you can do it’ or listening to them talk for hours about their latest problem and offering a sympathetic ear. It might be helping with ideas when they come to you with something they are excited about.

Whatever you need we are usually there. Sometimes that means we put ourselves and our needs behind yours because quite frankly that is what a good friend does. You realise there will be a time you are the one falling apart and will need them to be supportive.

Being a caring person does have its downside. People often use you to their own ends. They get what they want from you and once they are over the point they need your help they drop you quicker than a hot potato. If you are a caring person you’ll know what I mean. It hurts and it continues to hurt for a long time because giving someone your time and friendship means a lot to you.

So what if you took that idea and made it bigger? What if you reached out across the internet and asked people to talk to you about their problems. What if you gave them an anonymous forum to talk about the things they keep to themselves. What if other people could read those problems and see they weren’t alone and it began to help change people’s perspectives. That would be an amazing thing to do right?

So to breakfast this morning and I’m sitting with my second coffee reading an old copy of Womens Health, I have a subscription but rarely get the time to read it. Actually I should make the time more often because it is a good magazine, it doesn’t tell you to be skinny, it encourages you to be happy with who you are and strive to be healthy.

Who doesn’t want to be healthy and happy in their lives?

There is an article about the Brazilian way of life and I’m not just talking about their lack of pubic hair. Brazilians, so the article says are born to be body confident. They love their bodies and being ‘strong’ and not ‘skinny’ is the aim of the game.

I’m not body confident. I have great legs, I’ve been told I have a good arse and boobs, being a typical girl I hate them. Let me tell you while visually big boobs might get you boys hot and heavy they are a pain in the arse to live with. But as much as I wanted mine to stop growing they ignored me and carried on anyway.

Forget running unless I have a steel reinforced bra, it’s just too painful to have the girls bouncing up and down and I’m never going to perfect my golf swing as they get in the way and I hook my shots. Ok maybe I can unlearn that one with a willing teacher 😉

Anyway my point is confidence is sexy. At times I am confident and in those moments I feel sexy. But it doesn’t always last. The bubble bursts and my insecurities leak out.

The last guy I liked was full of confidence, it was one of the things that drew me to him. His confidence made me feel confident in myself and that made us both sexier. It was nice to get regular compliments and reassurances about myself and the things we were doing, it made me feel valued. I miss that positive influence in my life.

Writing makes me feel confident, I can put into words the things I want and send them out into the world for people to read and enjoy. I can make thousands of people smile without ever speaking to or meeting them. I like making people smile.

I don’t want my stories to all be about big breasted women or men with huge cocks.  I want them to be about people, that’s why I often leave out some physical descriptions. I want you to picture your ideal woman or man while your reading.

We all have different tastes, not everyone wants a skinny, big breasted blond woman or a man with a long thick cock that will make your eyes water.

To me skinny isn’t sexy and whilst I’ve always wanted to lose weight and did slim down two dress sizes in the last year, spurred on by some hot male attention, I never want to be skinny, I want to be healthy.

I have curves, I embrace them. I have boobs, an arse and wide hips. I have slim shapely legs and wobbly arms. Basically I’m a regular woman, I won’t pretend to be anything else.

I eat food, whatever I fancy when I fancy it. I don’t apologise for eating a cake when I want one. I don’t eat for the sake of it.

I don’t exercise as much as I should but enjoy it when I do.  I try to be healthy but I want to enjoy food and not see it as the enemy.

Life is too short for reading the ingredients and calorie intake on a daily basis.

If you want cake have cake, just take the stairs instead of the lift to work the next day. Go for a walk in your lunch hour, to free yourself from the stress of your desk and get some fresh air.

The worst thing anyone can do is hold up a picture of someone else and want to be that person. You will never be that person, you are you.

Love you, do you, work with what you have, love yourself. If you don’t love yourself you will make it harder for other people to love you. Everyone deserves love.

Be confident, not arrogant. If you are sexy people will see that, you don’t need to make it obvious and force it on people.

We are all built differently, embrace what you have and stop trying to be someone you aren’t. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a better person. But do it for the right reasons, because YOU want to do it, not because someone tells you to do it.

Lets all be happy, confident, sexy people and love each other, life will be a lot more fun if we are! 🙂

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